Random Thoughts: Weird News, Zombie Cover-Up?

This one is for BabySis, whose alter ego Ivy Star is having a birthday today. Have I mentioned my whole family is weird? This post will not disprove that perception.

Yesterday, Hubby and I were sitting at The Marlay having a post-Mass drink — Bloody Mary for him, Mimosa for me — when I saw the following story referenced by Twitter friend Odella Wilson:

Ghoulish Cargo of 60 Severed Heads Found at Airport

If you don’t have time to read through it, here’s a summary* (my comments in parenthesis):

Airport workers found human heads, whole and parts, in cargo at the Little Rock, Arkansas, airport. They hadn’t been packed in ice, only in plastic containers with duct tape (because, really, it holds anything together! Seriously, how were they going to hide that in the summer heat?). The authorities suspect illicit body part trade (zombies are nervous because it’s well-known they don’t care that much about freshness), but others think it could be cargo headed for medical continuing education courses (I’ve been to industry dinners — some doctors and pharma reps are zombie-like) for new equipment demonstration purposes (zombie crockpots cook human bits to perfection while you hide during the day). Although human parts are in high-demand for research and education, the industry is not well-regulated (zombies have good lobbyists).

Some of my favorite quotes from the article:

The coroner now has possession of the heads.

When I lived in Little Rock, I’d frequently see the coroner’s van parked at my apartment complex. This made me a little nervous, so I asked at the front office about it. Apparently the coroner at the time lived there. I never knew what was in that van. Guess where my imagination went? A new meaning for “taking your work home with you.”

“These were human body parts. They were medical specimens,” Garland said. “There is a real demand for these body parts all over America. There is an underground market for this stuff and we are determining if we stumbled on an underground human body parts market.”

I now believe in the zombie-pocalypse. Everyone thinks it’s going to be violent. Nope, it’s just commerce. Who’d’ve thought they could be so subtle?

She said human specimens are used in the educational courses she prepares.

Typically educational courses don’t have names like “Appetizers 101 — Finger Food” or “Entrees — Head Cheese.”

The trade in human body parts for continuing education is a multimillion dollar industry with virtually no federal oversight, experts told ABC News.com.

This just gets better and better…

And, finally:

A 2008 investigation into the Bodies exhibit, a travelling museum show featuring preserved cadavers in artful poses, revealed it was stocked with the illegally obtained corpses of Chinese prisoners.

Uh, like there was any doubt??? That’s why I refuse to see it.

Okay, zombie-lovers and horror fans, tell me you didn’t get any story ideas from this. If you did and you post it on your blog, please let me know. I’m pondering a contest that I’ll run if I get at least ten comments that express interest. Why ten? Because it’s silly to run a contest with three entries.

*I have to thank my sophomore English teacher Mrs. Colby for insisting that we learn to write summaries. She would likely appreciate this story, as she had a black ceramic skull on her desk and liked to wear dark colors.